mae flux ?:

by mae flux

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1.
Aint got time for all this conversation Life like mine is only worth its weight in words I won’t waste none on people who just want problems Sympathy ain’t nothing without action Oh, and shame is the most useless emotion
 Nothing changes by acting guilty all the time Yes sir, yes sir, take control I am just cattle to cull
 Smear my name it will not change That I am no man’s keeper No more anger, no more fear Don’t call me no tenderqueer 
 I won’t hold court for nobody else’s crimes Innocent, innocent, innocent In a sense, in a sense, in a sense
 It’s a sin, it’s a sin, it’s a sin
 Innocence, innocence We say empty the prisons, so why’s my life yours to own? We say abolish the police, you’re policing my tone We wanna burn it all down, but you’re just gaslighting What do you really want to happen to people who cause hurt? Once they learn from their actions and start to put in work Do you believe in reform or just condemnation?
 One of my oldest friends has been locked up for 6 years now I don’t know when, or if he’ll ever even get out
And I don’t know when he should But I know that’s not my call
I just know that I should call him One of my oldest friends has been locked up for 6 years now I don’t know when, or if he’ll ever even get out
 And I don’t know when he should But I know that’s not my call
I just know that I should call him
2.
vertigo 03:36
shrill sounds shut it down I don't wanna deal with real right now wrong again now they got me jonesin' for a fight I don't even wanna win struck down, deposed can't be told no now you're digging for trash in a pile of treasure stay clutching pearls you'll turn em back to an oyster but I won't feed the creature of my habits when the habits harm stick to what we know fear what we don't dig it all up get uncomfortable it's good to be wrong get smarter and grow then it's back to the old drawing board old ghosts echo (echo) in my little chamber, gettin vertigo watch your mouth or keep it closed if you won't wash it out with soap fuck love, fuck war maybe all's not fair we could still try to be a little kinder don't wanna preach don't wanna be a nihilist either
3.
we been losing too much sleep for all the right reasons all the possessions that you keep mean so much more than what you left behind came out your chrysalis, hand on your gun just a life-baby on the run what’s left when we kill our past?
 I know a thing or two about that there’s so much I haven’t seen so show me
 love came quick and still it burns so slowly
 every etching on your skin entrancing
 why waste time on worry when we could be dancing
 flowers sprout from every footstep that you leave feeling overdue for a little serendipity see I been gettin no respect call me ms. Dangerfield I like your arms around my neck is it a danger to feel this way? you’re like a mirror but not a clone I know nothings ever set in stone but as the earth between us flows there’s no fault lines to fear 

 they scorn us in the winter but we don’t care just wait til the weather breaks 
 I’ll still be right here your skin is satin
 my blood is cold 
 you make it happen anywhere you go the crucial point you oughta know
 I won’t stop feeling until you say so
4.
I know they say everybody’s got a story to tell oh well you’re not saying shit, maybe you just want something to sell oh well
I’m not saying people who suffer are the only ones who make good art I’m just saying they’re the only ones I relate to 
 I know I ain’t the worst-off on this Earth but if you knew what I’ve survived 
 you’d know why I don’t like to talk about it

 it didn’t get bad, but it didn’t get easier 
 we were all spun out and screaming 
 na na na nana na na na na
 we didn’t do time, but we weren’t free either
 it was such a blur for so long na na na nana na na na na
 you can only tell so much without giving it all away
 okay
 I kept it all shut up for 10 years, oh I’ve been too vague coerced into labor under psychedelic threats of pain
 but I didn’t complain
 we were moving at least four figures a day
 money not for me it didn’t get bad, but it didn’t get easier 
 she found Jesus in the ceiling
 na na na nana na na na na
 we didn’t do time, but we weren’t free either
 everyone in debt or dosed up na na na nana na na na na listening to Blood On The Tracks, hydroplaning
 I spun out, they were bleeding mm mm mm mmmmm mm mm mm mm
 6 lanes in the rain, 100 West in December your best dealer lost a driver 
 he didn’t have much use for me after that
5.
all my friends are blowing up or burning out I’m breathing in the glitter and the mold
 every year I feel a little more like myself
 yeah I know age is wasted on the old all those years I spent staring at the ceiling
 might as well been staring at the sun somehow neither God or the mob could kill me
 I’m not done youth ain’t wasted on the young

about

hiii gonna start getting some old songs off my computer, some old ideas finished and finally put some very old situations into words. idk how to feel present. I think the first thing is getting over the past and stop thinkin about the future so much, but i haven't figured that out yet. i'm just trying to chill more and feel present tbh. doesnt cookie look so cute in this pile of clothes?

credits

released April 17, 2024

covert art by emmy, kc & cookie

TPF-015
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